billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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