you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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