Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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