4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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