no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
