what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
