i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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