True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
