Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize