So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
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