i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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