Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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