Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Semen is not good for contacts.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
