Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
