New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
