I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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