i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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