is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
