How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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