that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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