Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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