Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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