I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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