office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
