Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
