walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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