there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
