He uses pillows to masturbate.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
