Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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