We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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