Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I checked into jail on foursquare
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
