Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize