That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
