whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize