3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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