i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize