i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
