either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
pop tarts are not kleenex
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
