And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
