I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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