Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
