just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
