Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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