dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
