it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
