He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
