His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The power of my boobs compel you
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
