What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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