You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
