He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
They have beer where we have blood.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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