Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
