I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
