butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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