I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
