Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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