You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
