I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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