I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
