If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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