I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
