Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
