how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
