Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize