I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
