We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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