So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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