We're like a lot better than the average bears
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
