My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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